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November 2022

This month's piece is both reflective and experiential. Let's go with my experience first. I talked last month about the link we have made with our local, unique Forest School and how I had spent some hours talking to Molly, the school leader. However I had not witnessed seeing any children there. Toward the end of October, during half–term week and for four days, Molly ran special Halloween–themed sessions for various ages. Out of interest, I volunteered to help out.

I know, from my previous time in a classroom, how much goes on before and after the actual children are there. Nevertheless I was staggered at the amount of preparation that Molly had put in, the time she took to set things up and the time that it took to clear up afterwards. Don't forget that this type of experience, this form of learning, is child–led so you really do not know where it may go, what facilities may be used and from where you will gather everything back together. The actual sessions were fairly simple to supervise by comparison. I hope my fairly immobile contribution to preparation and cleaning was of some help and my back is now back to normal; that is my normal not the one experienced by most of the rest of humanity.

The actual sessions were even more of a joy to behold. For two hours, in each of the 6 sessions I was at, children aged between 2 and 12 amused themselves, used their imagination, engaged their curiosity, were very creative (I must have "sampled" quite a few drinks and meals concocted in the mud kitchen) and there was not a single electronic device in sight, except the phones that Molly and I had and if either of us had a conventional wristwatch, those electronic devices could have gone too.

No–one seemed bored or couldn't find something to do. Those that didn't like running their fingers through slime to find spiders, went off and painted instead or played in the yurt. It was all about self-expression. There was no pressure saying you must do this and then that. You did as you felt, with, if necessary, suitable adult guidance. There is no doubt things were learned. It was a pleasure to actually see in action what I thought, indeed hoped, might happen in this environment. The balance between free–play and supervision was perfect. But it only happened because of the work that had been put in beforehand.

The mention of the word balance brings me to the second point in this little epistle. Over the last three months or so at least half a dozen teachers with whom I have contact have spoken to me about a work/life balance. They've even asked me for advice on how to achieve it.

The first point I always make is that it cannot be a work/life balance. Life is there all the time and work is a part of life. You can try and balance your life better between your work and your personal time and other duties but a work/life balance can't, in my opinion, exist.

The second point I make is that I can't give specific advice because we are all different, at different stages of life, indeed of work, and so for each of us priorities vary. Sometimes I will suggest making a list of all you want and then looking at things which cannot run alongside each other. For example, if you are offered a position in another country, you cannot accept it and remain around the people with whom you currently work. You can then break down the pluses and minuses of staying or going but for nearly everyone it would be different.

In 1968 I wanted to emigrate to Australia on the old £10 passage. The company I worked for had offices out there, it would have been easy but my mother didn't want me to go. I thought about it and decided that she was more of a priority. I didn't go. In 2002 I did leave my close family and travel the world for 9 years. Circumstances were different. If that opportunity arose again I now know I would stay. Sometimes you find something good that you want to stay with even if the opportunities, money, even life balance, seem better elsewhere. Come across something good and enjoy it while you can instead of looking for what might be. It's true that what is may disappear but life is all about risk taking, funnily enough part of the Forest School ethos.

But to those who sought my advice I have to say you really have to work it out for yourself. It can be good to sound out friends; it can be good to make those priority lists but, in the end, it all comes down to what you want most at the stage of your life you are at.

The only constant I can always tell people is that whatever decision you make to improve your life balance, it is the correct one when you made it, whether that was spontaneous based on an inner feeling or slower after thinking it through.

Also for some of us work is our life. That doesn't mean we ignore the outside world but it means we get the most satisfaction, the greatest sense of achievement, from the time we spend in whatever is our work. It is our passion.

I would probably, and I'm only saying probably, make different decisions now than I would have made 25 years ago, 50 years ago. That is natural. However, those decisions will also be influenced by your own experiences, both with work and people. Nowadays, if I find someone I can trust, that is very important. Why? Because too many have let me down. To me it is a rare quality. That and total honesty. With those two I will then have a good balance in my life and work will fit in perfectly. I hope you can achieve the same.