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JANUARY 2024
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Tuesday 23 January 2024
Richard writes

I want to begin this first blog by picking up on something Molly said in our last podcast and that was about mental health. I know from following many teachers on X (formerly Twitter) that teaching can have a detrimental effect on a person's mental health. However, coming from a different generation than most of these teachers, and Molly, I was brought up to look at things slightly differently. Mental health was not something which was discussed.

In the way matters are viewed now, I have had mental health problems all my life. I have suffered panic attacks and anxiety, bad enough to seriously disrupt my whole life. If you listen to our October 2023 podcast you will hear me tell a little bit about my experience when, aged 13 in 1962, I wouldn't, couldn't, didn't go to school for almost a whole year. As I was treated by an eminent psychiatrist I think we can say that was a mental health problem although to this day I still don't really know the reason.

At other times in my life my anxiety, panic attacks, have disrupted my working life, my personal life and indeed almost everything I have done. These attacks never made me feel suicidal because most, if not all, of them were related to a fear of dying or of suffering a serious illness and not being able to get the treatment I would have needed. For example, a train journey to work would cause a major panic especially if the train came to an unexplained stop in the middle of nowhere. Logically, if your panic, your fear, is of dying, suicide is not a choice you would make.

I think the problem with mental health illness, if it is an illness, (more in a minute or more correctly a couple of paragraphs as I don't know how fast you are reading this) is that not only are the causes individual but the signs, the symptoms are very individual too. There are many ways you can break a leg but once you do the signs are clear. There are many ways you can suffer from mental health problems but the signs may not always be visible.

You see, in my experience, if you have a mental health problem, you, the sufferer, may not be able to identify it as such. Everyone goes to school, everyone can go on a train journey; when I couldn't I only saw it as a fact that I couldn't do what others find easy. On my final day at school in 1968 my old head teacher took my father to one side and told him that I was probably the most courageous boy he had seen in his school for the way I overcame my fear. Father didn't tell me this for another 13 years, just before he died, but, once I knew, I could cope with my personal fears much more easily. Weirdly, as a teacher, my fear was not in planning or delivering the lesson, not in controlling the class but in the journey, by train or car, to get there, a fact which did cause me to lose one job because I didn't explain to my bosses why I wouldn't go where they wanted to send me.

When I eventually admitted to my family about this fear of dying and not being able to get help, an aunt of mine told me she often had the same feeling while walking along a street. Suddenly I realised I was not a failure, not abnormal and someone else had the same feeling as I did. Most people didn't but someone did. It made a big difference. Again while working late one night with a colleague and dreading the hour and half train journey home we got talking about things. At one point he said to me Richard, we are all normal, we are just unique. That did it for me. It is normal to have fears, be anxious, even panic. We just do it for different things.

If you've read this piece and it's helped you, that's great. All I would say is that, racing toward my 75th birthday, I'm still here. Somehow, I have overcome all my anxieties, panics, problems and that is why, a few paragraphs ago, I questioned whether mental health was an illness. Don't get me wrong I'm not belittling it in any way but is it, as I think was felt in my day, more of just having to cope with life. No, pull yourself together does not help because to you these are genuine fears, problems. Support is vital, just knowing someone else is or has been through it can help or having someone who you can confide in, can talk to any time and who understands what you need. I can assure you that if mobile phones had been around in my best panic years, I could have coped with a lot more.

I suppose the point I'm trying to make is that having fears, being anxious, feeling depressed even, is a normal part of life. Yes, it is a problem; yes you do need to deal with it but if you learn to deal with the problem and not try to deal with the fact you have it, it becomes much easier or at least I have found it so.

Remember we are all normal, each unique. Be you and be proud of it.

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Friday 26 January 2024
Richard writes

I chose to write the last blog for several reasons. One was certainly because of what Molly had said in our last podcast. These last few months have been really tough for both of us, especially her. However the other reason was that it fits in nicely with one of the main reasons we are starting the school of the air concept for home educators. Parents choose to home educate their children for all kinds of reasons. Some because they are dissatisfied with their local schools or cannot get a place for their child at the school of their choice; others are seeking an extra academic challenge for very academically, athletically or artistically gifted children; others have children with learning or physical needs that a school would find it difficult to cater for. The only legal requirement for parents is that they must ensure that their child receives a full-time education from age five but they do not have to follow the National Curriculum, which is only a requirement for state schools.

But there are some who have children who find the school environment too stressful for them to cope with or indeed to progress. For those children, home education removes a possible mental health issue which can go on to cause problems in later life. For those who read Tuesday's blog, you will know this was a personal thing to which I can so easily relate. As I said in the last blog some of us find certain things difficult to cope with, that the majority of people find easy. The government position seems to be, and this is only my opinion and please correct me if I'm wrong, that the only answer to children missing school is to get them back, at any cost, and provide counselling, mentoring and things like attendance hubs.

You do not solve a problem by forcing people to go through what is causing them the problem. You find a way, and provide specific support, for avoiding that problem if possible. There are situations in life that we, as humans, find difficult. If it is essential then we need to find a way to get through it. But if it is not essential then we need to help those people get around it. That is the alternative.

Maybe, in the similar way suggested by Robert Frost in his much analysed poem "The Road Not Taken", we can chose to conquer or avoid when we are confronted with such a choice and, just to make it clear as the government seem to try to say otherwise, there is a choice about a child's education. Not whether they should receive one but how it should be given.

We need to remember that every child, every person, is different and yet our education system, as it stands, seeks to treat everyone in the same way. There are targets that children are expected to reach at a certain age. Does that allow for differences? The late Sir Ken Robinson said that the only answer to transforming education was to personalise it to each individual.

Home educating gives the opportunity to build a tailor-made education that suits the learning needs of the individual child. For example, if a child is shy they will often not ask questions in a classroom setting but with home educating the child will feel more able to ask questions and gradually develop confidence.

We are not suggesting that home education is feasible for everyone, It won't be but we do believe that those who have made the choice should have access to quality learning material; learning material that can also encourage a greater awareness of nature and the world outside.

The DfE estimates that 97,000 children were in home education in the 2023 summer term. Apparently that was 11,000 more than the previous term. If those children are happy and having a good educational experience, managing to socialise in some way, then we should not look on this as some scare story but applaud that fact and support these parents

But, while they have access to resources for the basic subjects of Maths, English and Science, they have far less material or indeed ideas for subjects such as history and geography. Harking back to Sir Ken Robinson again, I know he did not like the hierarchical way subjects are treated in schools. We elevate subjects such as Maths, English and Science above others but the arts, humanities, physical education and languages should all play an equal part in a child's learning journey.

Those subjects, for example history, geography and indeed the natural world, nature, can be far more fun to learn, especially if the learners realise some of the learning material is actually on their own door-step, or to be more precise not far from their own doorstep. You can actually see a river flow, visit an ancient monument and simply wander, with open-eyes and some guidance, through a forest or wood, field or meadow, within a small distance of most homes. What is more learning about these subjects will then lead to young people going outside more and hopefully wanting to be outside more.

Home education can work, does work and should be encouraged to work for those for whom it provides a a way to get around a obstacle to their chance to continue and thrive on their personal learning journey. It can also arouse their curiosity, ignite their imagination and release their creativity. You may have seem those words somewhere else on our website; many times.

I feel there may be more about this as I have just become aware of an article in The Guardian on Wednesday which suggests the surge in "homeschooling", their words not mine as I am totally opposed to calling it schooling, may be permanent. I'll go away and have a read. See you Tuesday.

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Tuesday 30 January 2024
Richard writes

Following on from my comment at the end of the blog last Friday, I did go away and read the Guardian article but it didn't really say anything new. In fact it diverged from home education to look more at school funding and the DfE came up with the usual g overnment department statement when questioned about funding, namely we are putting more money in now than ever before. This is also used about the NHS and the Care sector and other things too.

My reaction when reading this type of comment is always, well so you should be as we now have more children, old people, people needing medical attention, than ever before. I think the correct reply to these departmental statements should actually be, take a look around and you'll see that even if it is more than before it still isn't enough so please don't shout about it. You may boast of your actions when you have rectified the problem not before. End of rant.

However before I leave the topic of mental health, both in the workplace, for young people going to school and in people's lives in general, I wanted to offer one small piece of advice from my own experiences. Find someone you can talk to and talk to them. There are two types of people I have found who can help but there are some from whom you should definitely shy away.

If when you start explaining your problem, your panic, your anxiety, the reason you are feeling depressed, the reaction is, pull yourself together, this is not the person who will help you. The whole reason you have these feelings is because you can't pull yourself together (whatever that may actually mean). If the reaction is, oh don't be silly, that's not a problem, again this person won't help. It may not be a problem to them but it is to you; a real problem.

One of the facets I believe we have as humans is that we look at someone's situation and think as us. This also happens in arguments. We hear the words someone says and convert it into what we think they mean. To me, having taught communication skills for many years, effective communication is not 2-way but 3-way. We speak, we listen and then we should check we have understood correctly.

However, I digress. The two types of people who I have found can help are either those who have been through the problem you have or someone who is a good listener, doesn't pre-judge a situation and is prepared to help talk you through it.

My mother, despite departing this earthly planet some 29 years ago, still has an influence on the way I behave. I can say that I probably still think of her, and my father who left me some 42 years ago, in some way every day. Mother, as I think was common in her generation, was a great person for quoting proverbs.

I know some people think they are just old wives' sayings but if you look at many of them they make complete sense. Too many cooks spoil the broth; definitely having too many people doing a job can ruin it. A stitch in time saves nine; obviously sort something out before it becomes too much of a problem.

However the proverb she used to quote that I was thinking of was, a problem shared is a problem halved and that too is true. That is why finding someone you can share your worries with not only makes sense but eases the feelings you are having to do this on your own.

It doesn't need to be a qualified expert but it is important, as I hope I have emphasised, that you choose carefully with whom you will build this relationship and share your problem. Just knowing that someone else has been through the things that are worrying you, has had the same anxiety, the same panics, is, I have found, a great comfort. And if you can find that listener who can be the rock you can cling to while the current of life is trying to drag you over the waterfall, you may, I hope will, find a way forward. Talking is always good.

I believe that there are two types of relationships that occur between people; supplementary and complementary (I should point out this is a Richard theory although it would appear more qualified people think slightly the same way). One of these should be what you look for in your support. A supplementary relationships adds to what you have. This is the listener who is remote from your problem but can add to the way in which it is handled. In a complementary relationship the person will have actually have experienced the situation and can guide you through their own experiences.

Whilst I have used this as an example in building a relationship to give support for a mental health problem, I do think it works in life too. I also think that if you ever find a relationship that is both complementary and supplementary, hang on to it for dear life. It is probably almost unique, highly satisfying and amazingly productive.

I think I'll let mother, proverbially, finish this piece. Another of her sayings I used to hear as a child if I had lost something and was trying to find it was that, it will be in the last place you look, I was in my fifties until I realised how stupid that was. In fact nowadays just to annoy her, in case she's watching me, once I find what was lost I always keep looking for a while.

Back on Friday.

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